What's The Difference?

Today I sit here thinking about my before and after pictures.  I have had several people tell me that they really can't tell the difference.  I just laugh, because when I look at them I see nothing but differences.  While it is true that I have never been truly overweight, the difference between being fit and being a blob who sits on the couch everyday is almost immeasurable.  My before picture was of a person who was sad and disgusted with the way she looked.  A person, who no matter how hard she tried, couldn't find a pair of jeans that fit just right, a person who dreaded the words, "let's go to the pool" because that meant a swimsuit!  Ugh!  (Although, I still don't care for swimsuits!)  But beyond the physical, I was depressed and had zero self-confidence. 
                                              
That has been an issue I have dealt with all of my life.  The way we see ourselves does have a lot to do with how we conduct ourselves every day.  I tend to be a pretty joyful person.  I try to see the positive in things and avoid negativity when possible.  But that didn't stop me from talking negatively to myself everyday.  I was raised with a very modest and almost self-conscience upbringing.  My body wasn't something to be proud of, it was something to hide.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in modesty.  I do not work out everyday and eat right so that I can flaunt my body and I am certainly not raising my daughter to flaunt herself. But not a day goes by that I don't tell her that she is beautiful.  She can be in her pajamas, fresh out of bed or in her date night dress for daddy.  She is beautiful ALL of the time.  In fact, I ask her some days "have I told you you're beautiful today?"  So guess what she says to me while rubbing my cheek....."Mommy, have I told you you're beautiful today?"  I want her to feel comfortable in her own skin and be free of the worry about body image while learning how to take care of herself at the same time.  My after picture, which is still in progress and probably always will be for many reasons, is of a woman free of the sadness.  I decided that I was not going to let myself get in my own way.  God made me and as His child, I am responsible to take care of myself.  I wake up everyday and choose joy. 

 Joy that I have a new day, joy that I have a husband who adores me, joy that I have three beautiful children who are healthy, joy that I have the energy to do things, and yes, joy that I can get dressed and not feel like hiding behind a frumpy sweatshirt.  The list is endless.  That old before picture wasn't choosing joy everyday, but that was then.  Today, and everyday, I choose joy.  That is the difference.